advocate, autism, Autism spectrum, autism spectrum disorder, Child, danger, deception, devotion, divorce, Lorhainne Eckhart, mother, Neurodevelopmental, parents, parents group, special needs child, the choice, the choice of giving, The Forgotten Child
Can you imagine your child who you love more than your next breath—a child who doesn’t fit in with other children. Has meltdowns in public, doesn’t talk, plays alone doing the oddest repetitive movements. Makes odd squeaky noises over and over, and instead of playing appropriately when your friends or acquaintances come to visit, climbs all over the adults latching onto their legs and hoots like an elephant.
You can’t reason with your child, and he/or she doesn’t appear to understand. And you’re at a loss as to how to how to communicate with him.
Of course it’s frustrating, but so are obtaining services for your autistic child. And if you’ve persevered and were lucky enough to get your child diagnosed, and if you were connected with a parents group in your area with autistic children. Then you’ll have valuable information for resources that the highest percentages of parents with autistic children don’t have.
Ask yourself what this does to families? Did you know the divorce rate is upwards of 85%? Ever wonder why? Take a look at the community programs and parent groups, and what you’ll find is they’re mostly driven and led by mothers.
For most mothers their children’s welfare is in the forefront of their mind, along with caring for the needs of other siblings, balancing a job, paying the bills etc. And what happens is Dad checks out–emotionally, and in many cases he’s unable to get with the program.
Take a look at what Mom’s dealing with and you’ll understand maybe Dad’s feeling left out, helpless, emotionally cut off. But who’s the one beating every bush to find therapy for their child and resources? The highest percentage of the time it’s Mom. And what she doesn’t have time to do is hand hold, or make things easier for Dad. That’s not up to her. Frankly she’s exhausted and doing everything imaginable to keep her family together.
But let’s be fair. Do all men checkout? No. In fact there are a few strong amazing men who have stepped up to the plate to advocate, pound on doors, and fight for help for their child. As well as a few strong men, who come together in harmony with their spouse to share the emotional strain that the early stages of autism takes on families.
Ever asked yourself why so many Dads of special needs children are not in the picture, or have any part of advocating for their child?