The fact is many parents don’t do any form of therapy for their autistic children, because of all the roadblocks they face. Unfortunately, finding qualified credible therapy is extremely difficult, as is getting qualified credible therapy within your child’s school. Junk science though is easy to find, and has bilked parents of their life savings, their peace of mind, and provided nothing but sleepless nights and additional stress to these already sleep deprived parents.

Junk science is also supported by governments and very popular in most school districts and alive and well in almost every school. Public school districts provide babysitters only so let’s not confuse what school districts say is qualified support workers. Most school districts have a long way to go to getting on board with working with an autistic child, an individual child’s qualified consultant, and the parents to implement a quality program in school that the consultant has developed for the specific needs of that specific autistic child.  Junk science has no validity, no science to back it up and provides no genuine data. What are provided though are testimonials. Steer clear parents, and definitely do not accept anything offered by a school district unless your consultant has first investigated and these people providing the service are working with your consultant and within the program your consultant has created. A genuine program simply put, Autistic children show remarkable progress that can be tracked and proven, and the program is constantly changing and evolving to keep up with the child’s progress. This again is done by your consultant not the school. There are only a small handful of school districts that truly support the individual needs of autistic children.

So let’s go back to these workers you meet who say they’ve worked with autistic children? Well let’s clarify the difference between a glorified babysitter and someone who is qualified to work with Autistic children, because there is a difference:

Qualified includes at least the following:

• 500 or more hours of experience working in an ABA in-home program
• experience working with children with autism in an integrated environment
• experience facilitating peer interactions with typically developing peers
• experience teaching in an activity-embedded and generalized teaching environment
• experience working with a child with autism in a variety of integrated settings
• experience working collaboratively with an outside consultant
• participate in on-going training and observations related to school and community based programming, under the direction of a qualified consultant (This term I will elaborate at a later date, consult your local parents group for a list of private consultants to avoid the vast array of consultants who practice junk science)

So what does the above mean? Well … simply without the above qualifications the worker, or support worker, EA  who you meet is merely a glorified babysitter and nothing else, and has no business working with your child. And this has nothing to do with caring, many care, their just not qualified to work with these kids.

And remember no matter what. Parents of special needs children deserve your support, respect and not condemnation and criticism, which are far too often what his freely provided. Gossip is poison. It hurts, and it makes it really difficult for parents of autistic children to function in a community. How many of you know of someone with an Autistic child? And can you leave a comment about one good thing of the parent, and their family?

Lorhainne Eckhart is the author of Walk the Right Road Series, Finding Love ~ The Outsider Series both series bestsellers in mystery series, romance series and westerns, and The Forgotten Child, the #1 kindle bestseller in westerns and western romance.

A Baby And A Wedding is a bridge short story following, THE FORGOTTEN CHILD, and prequels FALLEN HERO. The Forgotten Child introduced you to Trevor, a little boy with autism.  In A Baby And A Wedding, Trevor has made significant progress in many areas including his social skills. The new school Forward Thinking is based on the new teaching model for the 21^st Century. What is key to making it work is communication and collaboration, between the teachers, the student, and the parents. In Trevor’s case as would be with most special needs, this would also include your private consultant and the education assistant who is working in the school with your child.

This is called a team. There are no other professionals involved. One of the biggest mistakes happening in most school districts today is bringing in an army of people, and then calling them an “Autism Team” for example. But this so-called school based team has no in-depth knowledge into your child’s individual program, and sees your child a handful of times throughout the school year, if that. So how is it even possible to implement a unique program for your child’s individual needs? Very few of these teams actually collaborate and communicate with the parents, and work with the outside private consultant. Quite often is the mentality, “we know best.” And in just about every one of these cases the special needs child isn’t making any kind of substantial progress, at all. And roadblocks are what the parent faces. And what about the cost school districts are willing to fork out to create this type of model, especially when the area of special needs is the first area cut in education?

So how does Forward Thinking work? It is based on the individual needs and interests of the child. For a typical child, they become partners and self-directed leaders in their own education. Instead of being told what to learn, and barely skimming the surface, the education model is shifted. The learning for the student is focused on a few and learning is in-depth so the child becomes excited and partners in their education.

How is this different and at the same time ideal for an autistic child. Flexibility, communication and collaboration. The consultant, the teacher, the education assistant and the parents are all working together designing a program that fits the unique needs of the child, the autistic child. And the program is always evolving. Focusing on the skills he or she needs at that time, which include but are not limited to social skills, teaching in an environment that benefits the child, putting the child’s needs to the forefront. How unique, refreshing and it works because this very real model is truly happening in some corners of the country, including public schools.

How does something positive like this begin in your area?

A Brand New Website Dedicated to Short Stories

You find an author you absolutely love. Even better you fall in love with the characters they’ve created in the series. What has become popular, and requested by so many book lovers is “I want another story with my favorite characters. I want to know what happens to them”. For my marquis title THE FORGOTTEN CHILD, I’ve been flooded with emails; everyone wants to know what happens next with Emily and Brad.

Bridge short stories I personally love. They follow on the heel of your favorite novel and prequel the next book in the series. A Baby And A Wedding is a bridge short story picking up where The Forgotten Child left off. Introducing Brad’s brother Jed, and prequels Fallen Hero where Jed meets Diana.

Short stories are also another way to try new authors. Lunch Time Reads is a brand new website dedicated to short stories, featuring bestselling authors all with short stories priced at .99 cents. Stop on over and check it out today.

A Baby And A Wedding, a Friessen Legacy Bridge Short Story

Getting married and having a baby …  for Emily and Brad everything was perfect, or so they thought until an unexpected surprise threatens to derail their happy day.

I’ve always been a softie for Christmas books at this time of the year.

It’s all about families. I’m a sucker for romance, and old folks and an even bigger sucker for kids. When you join all those features into one story and add in a heroine you can’t help but love, then the book is my idea of perfect entertainment.

Some of my friends tell me I’m childish and tend to write naive tales about people who just aren’t that way anymore… kind and thoughtful, loving and giving. I beg to differ!! There is a world full of ‘nice’ people out there. Folks who live every day being helpful to others and generous with their families.

There’s one story in particular I’d like to share. My mother-in-law, a tiny, cranky, eighty-eight-year-old woman who has insisted on staying in her little house because she ….well she can. And the reason this is possible is because of her neighbour. A young man, maybe in his forties, has taken her under his w

ing (no pun intended) and goes there every day, looks after all her yard work, takes her grocery shopping and even to church. When she forces money on him, he’s terribly uncomfortable and has tried to tell her he doesn’t expect payment. See what I mean by angels in our midst???

My angel in this Christmas story is an old man called Pi. I created him as close to a real person as possible because I truly believe that we are surrounded by angels in our everyday lives. Ordinary people who behave in extraordinary and loving ways. In many cases, both men and women who come to ones aid without needing to be asked. I have friends like that and I’m sure most of you do also. In fact, you’ve probably acted like that yourself at one time or another. We all have stories to tell of the time that we…!

So this Christmas tale is my present to those of you who are suckers for romance and prickly little boys and loveable seniors. For your holiday pleasure, I’ve wrapped up all these elements up in an

entertaining parcel called “Lovable Christmas Angel”.

 Hint: This would make a perfect gift for someone special on your list who you know is sweet on those special uplifting stories that make the season just that little bit brighter.

Kickass Promotions

If you like to have an extra-special treat December 5th & 6th, Kick Ass Promotions is featuring a lot of boxed-set books in their December event, which is pretty cool – three

books for one. My Vicarage Bench Anthology is available for free so please take advantage and check out the other titles available.

 ***Thanks Lorhainne for letting me visit with you on your blog. Always love to see other’s pages and yours is set up so well. Hope to have you visit with me soon.

xo Mimi

Checkout these books which are also free December 5 and 6th:

One woman. Two men. And a choice that could kill her.
“A modern day crime with all the right elements Lust, love, lies and trust ” ROMANCE JUNKIES

Confidentiality, sometimes as parents you wonder if the school understands what this means.

When you have a special needs child, the siblings, you the parents and your home come under a microscope of scrutiny. And so does any plan of intervention prepared by your consultant.

Depending on your school district when you have a special needs child, there is a school based team which includes the teachers, case worker from special education department, maybe a school psychologist, and principal, and this team should also include you and your consultant. This is where you as a parent must be pro-active to insist you both remain part of this team, because as the school year progresses and lets face it you’re busy working trying to earn an income, it is really easy for the school based team not to consult you. In fact may schools prefer to keep you out of the loop, as they are not used to working with parents. And many of these professionals believe they know best.

Your child’s records, intervention plan, your other children, information about you as a parent is discussed, recorded and shared with these professionals and employees of the district. When an intervention plan is created for your special needs child it goes into their confidential file with the school and again everyone with the school has access to this. Here’s a word of caution that happens all too often. Your child’s intervention plan is copied and shared with other school district employees and other schools for another child.

Here’s another scenario for you, “a parent with a special needs child reviews their child’s file or a communication file with the school and discovers an intervention plan for someone else’s child that your school has decided to implement for your kid. And they didn’t even bother removing the other child’s name or the name of this other child’s consultant.” What kind of alarm bells are going off for you right now?

An intervention plan is done specifically for one child. There is no such thing as using a program for Child A, and doing the same thing for Child B. And schools need to clearly understand this.

There is a fine line that has to be walked with regards to confidentiality, because for your child’s success other parents and students need to know tons of key information about your son or daughter. From day one of the new school year the kids in class need to understand clearly, what Child A’s diagnosis is, the child’s strengths, how they as a peer can help and include the child. Give them the tools they need to work with your child. And also that its okay to play, and talk and include this child.

One of the worst things that happens in all schools is not divulging information to the class about “child A.” What you don’t want is the kids stepping away because child A does act in a typical fashion, or yells and screams, or doesn’t understand long auditory instructions-any number of scenarios. And when the peers don’t understand, they will move away from the special needs child. And part of the success for a special needs children is working with his/her peers.

Part III – When your special needs child is alienated at school. October 28

And then comes the task of re-establishing goals, training, teaching and getting all those school professionals, the news ones, on board with what you’re doing for your special needs child. And of course you have your own independent consultant who’s tailoring a program for your child.

School is not a matter of having a free daycare for your child, or the school sitting your child in a corner and ignoring them. Because quite often this is exactly what will happen to any special needs child unless a parent is pro-active. One of the mistakes parents make is relying on their school district, teacher, and principal, to just “take care of things for them.”

It really isn’t up to them. And just so I don’t upset everyone. Many school professionals do care, but they are limited, and can only do what they can do, many have their own ideas of what that child can accomplish, and may disagree with the direction that you and your consultant are taking.

It’s up to you as the parent to be part of the team at the school with a solid credible program put together for the child, which includes academics, social skills, and if there is behavior, and it must be independently tailored for each individual child. It is never okay to take an intervention plan for one child and stick another childs’ name on it, and unfortunately this is done way too often.

Also it is key that the school is working with the parent. Home and school have to be in partnership, working together or your child is the one that will suffer.

Resources are limited in many school districts. But they are still there, unfortunately it is up to the parent to dig and find the resources you need. The finger-pointing that has gone on for so long that schools are not doing enough, won’t solve the problem. Parents must take a leading role, but also in a way where you are “pleasantly persistent” and remember that old saying don’t “burn your bridges”. If you’re angry or irritated at someone from the school, take a breather, and don’t react it won’t get you anywhere except maybe held at an arm’s length distance from school. There is wisdom in taking a day to digest instead of reacting, take up kickboxing, or roll out that punching bag. But don’t lose it at the school, because its impossible to take back something you’ve said in anger. And remember memories are long, and becomes easy to be labeled, “the problem parent.” It’s a balance you have to walk, but any parent with a special needs child is more than up to challenge.

Next Blog Oct 17 – Confidentiality and when your child is alienated at school.

But in schools unfortunately there are many special needs children who fall in what they call “the gray area” and have never been diagnosed. And worse they have no support.

On a class school trip one of the children who the school district—the principal—the teachers know has a severe challenge and the staff stresses “just no social skills with no diagnosis.” Instead of addressing this issue to obtain the right help for this child, its been ignored, by the parents, teachers, principal and school district.

But what happens on an overnight school field trip out-of-town supervised by volunteer parents, and only one school administrator/teacher. And only the teacher is aware of this child’s difficulties. How many potential problems do think are going to present themselves? What the supervising parents don’t know is this child may have triggers and anyone or a particular situation may inadvertently push one of these buttons.

The children bunk in dorms together with the girls in one building, the boys in another. Parents divide up and supervise in each building. This child is known in the small community he lives and because no one has ever diagnosed or pointed out a problem, the child’s behavior, triggers, lack of coordination, balance, social oddities are ignored, or just put off too, “that’s just the way he is”. And the parents of this child appear to have no idea there’s a problem. This child walks oddly, long uncombed hair, clothes never fit, lack of hygiene, avoids eye contact, and can’t stand to be touched. Uses shoulders—body to move away from others. Always hides and sneaks off into woods away from other children. The other children always irritate him. He is; however, brilliant academically and excels in certain areas.

What happens on this trip escalates and in hindsight any qualified consultant—therapist would have seen the potential problem at day one. The kids in school have seen this over and over and they just avoid the child. Parents aren’t in school and don’t see this child’s behavior, triggers, and how the school personnel are or aren’t dealing with it. But the school personnel everyday see the behavior—the triggers—the social oddities—the physical impairment.

Now after everyone arrives and the belongings unloaded, the children, parents, teacher gather for the facilities orientation. This child ignores instructions from the instructor at the center to where they’re staying for two days. This child continues to talk becoming disruptive and gloms onto one particular child. This other child has become a safety net for this child, apparently has for months at school. Because this child accepts all children for who they are. But a supervising parent has to step in and separate these children because this undiagnosed child keeps talking and won’t listen to the centers counselor and the safety instructions, disturbing everyone. Even after repeated requests, “stop talking, and listen.” The parent doesn’t know what problem they’re stepping into with this undiagnosed child. As the day progresses this child doesn’t follow directions, or does one moment the next does exactly what they’re instructed not to do. It’s as if they remember in one moment—have no idea there was a discussion the next. Or they say they know but can’t apply it. If you pay attention you begin to notice how the other children in class do not want to socialize with this child. Their body language when they are around this child shows their discomfort. This child picks up on their discomfort and continually is caught trying to drag off the one child/friend who accepts them for who they are, alone into the woods after being told for safety they have to stay with the group. And unfortunately, one parent is having to continue to step in and address the issue with this child over and over. The teacher on the field trip knows this child and refers to his struggles as “social skills deficit” and yet she still has done nothing to address the issue or alert the parents to what’s yet to come.

So after a day of outdoor activities this child becomes increasingly anxious. The dinner hour arrives and the kids all line up to enter the cafeteria where many others who are also visiting this center also snag a spot in line to get dinner.

Because the dinner hour is only served during a certain time frame the cafeteria is crowded. Tables are shared and empty spots are snatched up. This child sits with his friend two extra chairs remain at the table and are snatched up by one of the parents and another student. What happens next may not surprise anyone if you were paying attention to the signs. This child has now pulled up his hood over his head and says, “I’m going to sit somewhere else,” but the cafeteria is packed full with no empty seats and the parent says, “sit down there is no where else to sit, eat your dinner.” This child doesn’t he starts crying face turns pink, snatches utensils as if to throw something. The parent sees the meltdown in progress and goes directly to the teacher who is socializing with other parents in a nice private corner, alerts the teacher, and asks them to deal with the situation. The teacher approaches the child who is now holding their tray of food by the stairs rocking back and forth, with her hand extended out in front of her, body and head tilted back as if dealing with a wild animal. She tries to reason with this child and you can see how nervous she is and unable to break through, because this child has already tilted over the edge, weaving back and forth, head darting one way then the other before yanking his hood up higher to completely cover head, then sits on the stairs facing the wall with tray on lap giving the teacher his back. Crowds of other people are having to go around this child as he’s blocking the stairs. This teacher backs away and goes to get one of the male parents to deal with the child. This parent takes one look at the child, tries to talk to him then puts up both hands with a finality and steps back, the parents face resembles irritation with the teacher and you clearly hear this parent say to the teacher over and over “no” then the parent goes back to the table he’s at with other children.

The child at this time tosses his full plate of dinner into one of three gray dish pans outside the kitchen for the dirty dishes and leaves the cafeteria. Going outside where all the children have been warned not to do so alone because of the rural area they are in. But this teacher/principal watches, allows and she walks away. And where is this child now? Outside alone.

When the parents who know this child and the teacher are asked what’s wrong with this child, what’s the diagnosis and what triggers/behaviors does this child have, the response was shockingly, “I don’t know.”

As a school official, as a parent how comfortable are you with how some school districts ignore children in desperate need of help? Inclusion is a must, but it is imperative that all volunteer parents on a school outing are aware and provided necessary information to deal with a special needs child, whether diagnosed or undiagnosed. And of course, this should have come from the parents. Triggers, behaviors must be shared not kept secret. But looking back you can now see the other children’s wariness with this child. As apparently they’ve seen it, many times in school.

How would you respond if you were a supervising parent in a similar situation?

Reblogged from The Choice of Giving:

Do you know the difference between Autism and FAS? It may surprise you that many children who are actually FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) are diagnosed with Autism.

Why is that you may ask? Well it has to do with labeling. For a child to be diagnosed FAS communities often view Mom as someone who did this to their child, or “that woman drank throughout her pregnancy” and you know what, that is so wrong.

Read more… 291 more words

1. How Does Autism Affect Families?

2. How Does A Child With Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Get Diagnosed With Autism?

3. Autism In Public Schools

4. When You Suspect Your Child Has Autism

5. Why Are Autistic Children Not Included In Community Programs?

6. The Forgotten Siblings Of Special Needs Children

7. Profiting Off The Back Of The Special Needs

8. Autism ~ How Do You Tell A Parent There Is Something Wrong With Their Child?

9. What If Your Child Were Diagnosed With Autism

Upcoming Blog ~ Dietary Considerations for Autistic Children

You can’t reason with your child, and he/or she doesn’t appear to understand. And you’re at a loss as to how to how to communicate with him.

Of course it’s frustrating, but so are obtaining services for your autistic child. And if you’ve persevered and were lucky enough to get your child diagnosed, and if you were connected with a parents group in your area with autistic children. Then you’ll have valuable information for resources that the highest percentages of parents with autistic children don’t have.

Ask yourself what this does to families? Did you know the divorce rate is upwards of 85%? Ever wonder why? Take a look at the community programs and parent groups, and what you’ll find is they’re mostly driven and led by mothers.

For most mothers their children’s welfare is in the forefront of their mind, along with caring for the needs of other siblings, balancing a job, paying the bills etc. And what happens is Dad checks out–emotionally, and in many cases he’s unable to get with the program.

Take a look at what Mom’s dealing with and you’ll understand maybe Dad’s feeling left out, helpless, emotionally cut off. But who’s the one beating every bush to find therapy for their child and resources? The highest percentage of the time it’s Mom. And what she doesn’t have time to do is hand hold, or make things easier for Dad. That’s not up to her. Frankly she’s exhausted and doing everything imaginable to keep her family together.

But let’s be fair. Do all men checkout? No. In fact there are a few strong amazing men who have stepped up to the plate to advocate, pound on doors, and fight for help for their child. As well as a few strong men, who come together in harmony with their spouse to share the emotional strain that the early stages of autism takes on families.

Ever asked yourself why so many Dads of special needs children are not in the picture, or have any part of advocating for their child?